Having Crushed on Older Men: A Journey in Learning, Growing, and Realising What's Important.

I remember the first time I crushed on someone significantly older than me. It was exhilarating in a way I couldn’t quite explain, a mix of curiosity and fascination. I didn’t know exactly what drew me in—was it their wisdom? Their confidence? Or maybe it was the way they seemed to have it all figured out, with an air of experience that was both alluring and mysterious.

The thing about crushing on older men is that it’s not just about the physical attraction—though, let’s be honest, there’s something undeniably magnetic about the way they carry themselves. It’s about the life they’ve lived, the stories they can tell, and the way they seem to possess this quiet authority that comes with age. It feels like a different kind of connection—one that’s more intellectual, more mature, and somehow less chaotic than the usual flurry of emotions you might experience with someone your age.

But, let’s be real: crushing on older men often comes with its own set of complexities. First, there’s the reality check. While the idea of a suave, older man sweeping you off your feet seems straight out of a rom-com, the reality can sometimes be more complicated. There’s the age gap, sure, but more than that, there’s the difference in life stages. You’re in one chapter of your life, full of ambition, dreams, and perhaps still figuring out who you are, while they might be on a different page entirely, with their own set of priorities, experiences, and sometimes baggage.

And then, there’s the question of power dynamics. There’s no denying that the age difference can create a certain imbalance—whether it’s in experience, emotional maturity, or even societal expectations. Older men often carry an aura of authority, and while that can be incredibly attractive, it can also be intimidating, even overwhelming at times. It’s like you’re not just navigating a potential romantic relationship; you’re navigating a maze of life experiences that might make you feel a bit like an outsider.

But here’s the thing that I’ve learned through all of this: crushing on older men isn’t just about the man himself. It’s about you. It’s about the way you see yourself through this experience, the lessons you learn about what you want in a relationship, and the growth you experience as you realize what truly matters. It’s about coming to terms with the fact that a crush on someone older can also be a lesson in setting boundaries, in understanding the difference between admiration and desire, and in realizing that you’re worth someone who matches your energy, no matter their age.

It’s not just about the initial spark, the rush of excitement when they give you attention, or the fantasy of what could be. It’s about what you’re truly seeking in a relationship—whether it’s maturity, intellectual stimulation, or simply someone who understands you in a way others might not. And while a crush on an older man might come with its fair share of challenges, it also offers a unique opportunity for self-discovery and growth.

Crushing on older men is a rite of passage, really. It’s a reminder that attraction is complex, that age is just a number, and that what matters most is how someone makes you feel—not just in the moment, but in the long run. So, whether it’s a fleeting crush or a deeper connection, it’s all part of the journey to understanding what you need, what you want, and who you want to become in a relationship.

And who knows? Maybe, one day, I’ll look back on those crushes with a smile, knowing that I’ve grown and learned so much from each one. Because, as with all things in life, the lessons are often found in the most unexpected places—even in the older men we admire from afar.